I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
