ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
