then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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