We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
