worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Watching her eat just hurts me
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
