Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
