Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
