I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
