38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
