Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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