I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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