Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
