fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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