I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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