Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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