the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
