sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
