I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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