I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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