It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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