I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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