New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Threesome in a minivan. New low
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
