listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
