i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
