It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
