Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
