haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
