all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
