The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
