We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I looked at my own cervix.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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