im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
