I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
