i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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