dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
