It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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