Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
