i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
