i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
