I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
