Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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