it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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