I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
