I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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