They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
