her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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