let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have aggressive nipples.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
