If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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