Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
