unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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