My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
